Me!

Me!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Friends.

I love my friends.  I think the thing I love about them the most is that while we are not the same and we don't have exact interests, we all enjoy spending time with one another, going places together, watching tv shows and movies together, etc.  

I have had some recent experiences that have really made me question my decision to surround myself with certain types of people here in Miami.  Generally speaking, I tend to choose friends who are similar to me in one particular way.  It's so hard to describe what this one thing is without sounding like I have expectations of people (I guess in a way I do), but let me see what I can do.  

As Jane Austen says, "There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends.  I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature".  I feel as if I am a somewhat generous person by nature, specifically to those I cherish.  I don't believe there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them and the amazing thing is that all of them would do the same.  There's this unspoken, unwritten "rule" in friendship that you help your friends because at some point you will need them to help you.  And when a friend helps you, you are gracious and you do what you can to make that person that is helping you happy because you are so grateful for their generosity.  One may say that this particular attitude towards friendship could be cultural and that my issues with certain people are because they come from a different culture.  But I truly don't believe that culture affects the good that you are inside.  I think love, generosity, graciousness, etc. does not understand race, ethnicity, or culture.  Those are innate human traits.  

Specifically, I have had experiences where I have extended a helping hand and given opportunities to people that they would otherwise not have.  Unfortunately, in these situations I have learned that not everyone views friendship like I do.  Friendship is viewed by these people as allowing them to live their life the way that they want to live it with no regard for the persons that have been helping them.  They claim to be my good friend, but at the end of the day, I end up sad and alone.  Many have said, "Let them go.  They are not a good friends."  Is it wrong of me that I cannot let them go?  Although around them I feel sad and confused as to why these people can't be honest with me about their intentions, I also understand that they need help and I want oh so badly to continue helping them because that's just me.  That's how I function.  I don't know how to stop, even when I know that this friendship is a one way street.  

Is it possible that I am wrong for my belief of the unwritten "rule"?  Do friendships really come in all shapes and sizes and that it is normal to have relationships with people where you give so so so so much more than you ever receive?  Should I just be happy that these people have chosen me to help them?  Is the belief by Anne Frank, that " Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart" wrong?  Are there really truly bad people in this world.  

If I have yet to express my gratitude towards any of my friends, please know that I am grateful for you beyond words.  I don't know what I would do without the people I call, sometimes on a daily basis, to cry about my hurting heart or my directionless life, or those that instagram a timeline of our friendship, or those who trust me with their hearts at 3 a.m.  To those who have extended a hand to me in a time of need with food, shelter, car, money, etc., please know that even in my moments of weakness when I was incapable of expressing my gratitude due to my own selfishness, I am and always will be eternally grateful for anything and everything you have done for me.  

If nothing else, I have learned through these recent experiences just how lucky I am to be who I am and have the friends that I have.  Maybe that was this purpose of all of this... 

   

Friday, May 18, 2012

Summa Summa Summa Time!

“Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.” 
― Henry James

*I know it's been a while since my last update, but there truly has not been that much going on... Sadly, my life is quite boring*.

Yay for summer time!  This is possibly my favorite season of the year.  Although I had previously visited Miami in May and July, I have yet to experience the full Miami summer... I don't know how well I'm gonna handle it.  Anyone who knows me knows I don't love the heat (both the temperature and the basketball team...haha) and that I can be quite grumpy when I get to hot.  I inherited that gene from my mother... thanks mom!  She and my aunt both do not function well in the heat or without air conditioning.  It's kind of a running joke in our family  In any event, I am excited for summer!  
 
Speaking of air conditioning, my NEW apartment (we will get to that in a minute...) does not have central a/c, but instead has in-room air conditioners.  I came home last night to a lovely puddle of water on the ground in my bedroom.  I called mi amor at 11pm at night and was somewhat distraught that he could not come to my rescue (a moment of selfishness that I immediately regretted).  I became even grumpier when I realized that one window did not open completely and the other window did not have a screen on it to keep to mass amount of bugs that habitat in Miami out, so I was getting a little concerned... luckily, I have a fan.  I opened my window as much as I could, plugged the fan in, and was cool enough to sleep.  

In March, my roommate, Amber, and I, moved out of our apartment in Coconut Grove as the landlord needed his ailing mother to live there as his apartment is next door.  Amber is residing north of Miami with her sister and I moved in temporarily with very generous friend (thanks Karen!).  I found an apartment next to the University of Miami, which is in Coral Gables



 (fancy schmancy!) for less than what I was paying in the previous apartment and the area is great!  Many of my regular babysitting clients live close enough that I could ride a bike (if I had one) to work.  It's a cozy apartment that doesn't have as many complications as the other apartment had, so I'm happy to be there.  Hopefully I can actually stay at this apartment for longer than a few months.

Let's see, what else... ah, mi amor!  Weeeelllll, he and I became friends at the end of last year and spent practically every day together as "just friends".  I was too dumb and too blind to realize he was interested in me the entire time!  In March, we had a little scare as far as one of us possibly having to move away and that made me realize that I didn't want to be without him and he didn't want to be without me (who could blame him? ;)  ) .  I would love to say that it's been perfect ever since that moment, but I would be lying.  We have both had some pretty major things happen to us in the past two months that have really tested us individually and as a couple... he's seen me cry more than he probably ever wanted to see anyone cry.  Poor guy.  I've been told that relationships are suppose to be easy and fun in the beginning, but I kind of like that we get to see each others "realness".  I happy to report that I like everything he has put on the table thus far and I am a truly lucky girl.  It's been a long time since someone has shown me as much support as he has.  <3 



Forgive me for not being too personal about our relationship, but I have realized that there are some things that are worth keeping secret.  Like his name.  And what he looks like.  And what he does for a living.  And where he's from.  Those things will all be revealed in time.  Trust me when I say I am truly blessed.

Babysitting through the agency has been a bit slow, so I began marketing myself on websites such as care.com and sittercity.com as have gotten a good amount of responses from families that are interested in hiring me as their sitter.  I'm really grateful for those websites because they have helped me tremendously!  Babysitting is definitely not a forever job, but it pays better than any other job I would be able to get right now and the hours are favorable.  I can decide when I want to work and who I want to work with.  I came to the conclusion that until I find something that can lead to a career, change jobs would be foolish.  So... that's the next step!  

It was revealed to me a few months ago that I have a cousin that lives here in Miami (shocker).  He is from my dad's side of the family, but I'm happy to report that he is somewhat normal =).  He currently resides about ten minutes from my house with his lovely companion, Maikel, who is from Cuba!  I could not have asked for two better friends/family members.  I don't think they realize what a blessing they have been in my life and I love them dearly.  I hope we are always friends.  Besos mis amores!  


Today is a good day to write a blog about everything I am grateful for... Last night I was thinking about this time three years ago and the loss that I feel I have suffered.  While nothing will make up for that loss, I have gained so much over the years!  Not to get crazy religious on anyone, but I am starting to see the Creator's hand in everything... I live in a beautiful city in a lovely little apartment, I have a good job, I have some amazingly supportive people in my life, and... I live by the beach!  I anticipate that things will only get better from here.  I hope so, anyways.  

That's all for now!  Until next time...

Xoxo