Lessons Learned

It's been sixteen months since my journey of self discovery began and the lessons I have learned about myself and about life have been priceless.  This past month I have probably learned more about myself and about life then I have thought I would.  My intention of moving to Miami was, among other reasons, to complete my Associates Degree and transfer to a local university to complete my Bachelors Degree.  This past semester was a struggle for me, more so because of the lack of dedication then anything else, which has been a recurring theme in my years of college.  I started questioning towards the end of the semester whether or not continuing on with my college education was something I really wanted.  It's something that I still haven't decided one way or the other.  I have decided to take time off from school until I decide what I want to do.  I feel like I'm wasting my time and money if I'm not 100% dedicated to completing my degree and doing well in the process.  

I feel like as a society there is so much emphasis on going to school and getting a degree and some of us just go because it's "what we're suppose to do".  I have struggled with my decision to completely stop going because what else am I suppose to do?  I wonder if this is what it's like for those who spend the time going to school and working any job just to get by and then when they graduate they are no longer students,which is what they have been for the past twenty something years of their life.  I don't know which direction to go with my life and I'm struggling with that.  I just know that as much as I love my mother, I don't want to struggle like she did and I don't think she would want that for me, either.   


One direction that I do want to go with with part of my life is my health.  I have decided that I have spent too much time shopping at special stores, stressing about whether or not the seat belt on the plane will fit, or if I will be able to ride a certain ride because my boobs or any other parts of me are too big for the safety restraints.  I'm 24 years old and I feel like I can't enjoy my life to the fullest because of my size.  I don't want to live anymore of my life like that.  I am going to become healthy.  I am announcing this to anyone reading because I am hoping to get some support.  Because I have allowed myself to get this way, it's obvious that my responsibility to my health is not all that important to me and announcing it to a group of people will in a way make me responsible to all of you.  I know once I get going and start seeing results I will be able to motivate myself, but for now, any motivation I can get from you guys will be so helpful!  I am not expecting crazy results, as I know the faster you lose weight the easier it is to gain it back.  I am just hoping that I can become healthy and happy in more ways then I already am.  I am going to post weekly updates on my Facebook and just tell myself that everyone cares, even if they don't.  It will make me feel better. 


I hope everyone has a great Christmas and New Years! 


xoxo 


Sara